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Labels: a moment of thought, pathetically stupid until I dun even know why i wrote it, poly, randomness, saddest moments, UCL
Wow I don't really know why do I feel so emotional right now. Maybe it's because of all the pretentiousness in school. When will I find the day where I can just sit down somewhere in school & just read my books quietly? God knows really. With all the lessons all packed up together & mostly spending my breaks on FIFA 11 or with my classmates (which are hell a lot better than what I expected) I feared the worst really before coming to SP. Thought it was going to be yet another IJC despair for me really.
Then again it's only been 3 weeks after all.
& seeing you with another guy makes my heart rip apart really.
A#####
How I really love you.
(Sighs)
Why the fuck am I so emo right now????
& Schalke lost. As a German football fan, I'm disappointed with the Blues' performance. So much hype about their fortress-like Veltins Arena came up to nothing.
As a Bayern Munich fan however...
In your face!!!! Haha...
I need to get my head fixed up seriously. I don't like being so emotional. It's so attention-seeking really.
Unless subconsciously I do want attention. Odd really since I am like in the middle of the class really (guys at least, I hope!)
Arghh seeing her Facebook display picture with another guy really bums me out. I so need to get a life!!!
Bye random passer byes....
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
Labels: a moment of thought, Bayern, pathetically stupid until I dun even know why i wrote it
Since Faris Danial...a.k.a Bishan FS on my tagboard wants me to tell him who's Andrea..
& also since she's no blog reader...YES!!!!
So I'm gonna tell you "billions of people" who's the unlucky girl I like...
Met her in secondary school.
Never had those sort of feelings for her.
Just friends really...
So she went to TPJC
I went to IJC
& we all know how IJC ended for me
still I was friendly to her...typical flirt I am really.
Fast forward to April 2009
In SCDF now
& I'm really bored...
She became my Monday girl...sort of
Kinda annoyed her...I think
& I could have asked her out...more like should
But I was too hum chi
& now she's bloody attached.......
There you go Faris..enjoy in my misery.
& Sharil..where's your tagboard dude?
More importantly....Bayern 0-2 Bodeaux
I got nothing to say to that.
Sunday, 2 August 2009
Labels: pathetically stupid until I dun even know why i wrote it, saddest moments
"When rage meets madness"
I'm sure everyone has had this feeling. When nothing ever goes right with whatever you do. It's like Murphy's Law governs your life. By the way, Murphy's Law states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
It's been what...3...nearly 4 months of NS life & I've done nothing to improve myself. In fact I practically damaged my own body due to sheer stupidity (refer to accident at MTV) & now my back's giving me issues. Plus eyesight's horrible as usual. I'm gonna end up blind before 25 probably!
I hate my fucking job at Admin department. It's so fucking boring & idiotic & just plain fucking useless. I'm like a good-for-nothing-idiot in that place. I should be running about, helping fellow recruits or teaching skills or even giving injections to people. But no!!! I had to open my fucking mouth & OOC from medical orderly course & now I have become the most useless idiot in the whole admin department.
& it doesn't help that I don't even have the fucking guts to talk to the girl I like...(Yes the same girl from Innova) I'm a gutless idiot who fell for a really sweet, nice & hot girl but can't even open my mouth to talk to her. So much for being a flirt(this nickname is from Alex & for the record, I have never agreed with this)
Nor does it help that I have deproved SO MUCH as a goalkeeper. Even Alex & Justin are better than me. Mind you I was the best in that bloody court!
I hate this fucking useless feeling of despair, anger, rage & above all if there is such a word....USELESSNESS
FUCK!!!!!!!!!
I apologise for the f... words being used here.
Sunday, 31 May 2009
Labels: Bayern, pathetically stupid until I dun even know why i wrote it
I want to start with soccer first. I’m quite surprised that Olympique Lyonnais finally lost the Ligue 1 title to Bordeaux. Not that I’m a French football fan or anything but from what I know, Bordeaux isn’t a good side.
& at long last Mario Gomez decides to join the gang at the Allianz Arena for about 30m euros which in my opinion is totally too much! So he joins Ivan Olic, Anatoily Tymoschuk & Alex Baumjohamn as new additions. I’m sure Van Gaal will buy a new right-back to replace decorated quitter Willy Sagnol, the last 2001 Champions League winning player to retire.
& of course it’s Auf Wiedersehen to Massimo Oddo (AC Milan), Sagnol (Retiring due to injury), Jupp Heyneckes (Retirement) & Lukas Podolski (FC Koln).
By the way, I’m hoping van Bommel doesn’t extend his contract. Ze Roberto as well.
I finally managed to go out with the guys. It was quite pathetic since there’re only 4 of us: me, Faris, Sharil & Harris. But strangely enough it was fun. Terminator Salvation was a bit of a bore, though the effects were way cool. Best part was the Arnold Schwazzeneger look-a-like.
& Left for Dead is gory, bloody , freakish but cool.
OOC’s most likely to be tomorrow, that’s if HQ decides to let me go & stick to my request of leaving MOC before haemorrhages lessons. I’m bit sad that I’ve finally failed badly in something. If I could, I would’ve stayed. Then again, I’m not interested in having bloody nightmares & panic attacks all over again.
Read my friend’s livejournal & found something interesting.
“Trust is a myth.”
Sad fact of life isn’t it?
& no, she’s not been talking to me much. It’s depressing really. Coupled by my sleepless nights (due to certain dreams) , it’s tiring me out badly. If only she hadn't been part of the class I hated so much. If only I hadn't targeted her & Brandon in my tirade against the class. I would have tried to tell her. But my confessions only met with cruel mockery & (I believe it to be so) rejection. I am truely saddened.
Nothing significant to say really. Ciao
Saturday, 28 March 2009
Labels: f......, Me, pathetically stupid until I dun even know why i wrote it
I honestly wonder how many readers I have. Seems that only Justin tags my blog. Just one person. Makes me wonder if I'm a good person or not. If my "so-called-friends" are really my friends or are they just people I know & talk to occasionally.
Wonder if my so-called coldness ruins my relationships with others?
Wonder if my so-called coldness ruins any chance of being with someone?
Wonder if my so-called coldness ruins my personality?
Wonder if my so-called coldness ruins other people's lives?
I sound so fucking emotional at times. I honestly can't blame if people think I'm a girl or a bapok at times. Even the conversations I have with people are full of crap. Sometimes I hate my fucking life so much I wish I never existed. Life's so fucked up really.
149 contacts avaiable...just one to talk to. & even Justin can't be there always. Fuck I'm so attention-seeking at times.
Just so fucking retarded!
& I just wanted to say one last thing, I'm a fucking loser with a fucking emo-fuck blog with a fucking-shitty life & I know it.
CIAO.
& I apologise to people for the explicit usage of the f-word.
Tuesday, 3 March 2009
Labels: Bayern, Germany, just a thought, pathetically stupid until I dun even know why i wrote it, soccer, something interesting, UCL
Lately to get my mind off Friday (Damn it I remembered!) , I've been reading sports articles on ESPNsoccernet. & I came across this particular article.
Man Utd lining up Ribery to replace Ronaldo?
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=623983&sec=europe&cc=4716
Immediately you think, why on Earth would United let Ronaldo go? But lets move away from the English perspective & move to the German viewpoint.
In the last few years there have been loads of high profile Bundesliga-to-Premier League/La Liga moves. Bayern's Ballack to Chelsea, HSV's Van Der Vaart to Real. & yet when you want to think of a EPL/La Liga - to - Bundesliga move, you simply can't. The most high profile moves were Chelsea's Pizarro to Werder (who used to play for Bayern), De Jong to Man City from HSV & Voronin of Liverpool to Hertha Berlin.
Gentle reminder: They were only loan moves.
It seems that the Bundesliga & Ligue 1 have lost their pride. Just once I would actually want to see German clubs fight to keep their star players. It's almost ridiculous that everytime the Bundesliga creates a star player, he's off to the La Liga or EPL the next season. It's no wonder Germany fares so "well" in UEFA Champions League knockout stages. For the record, currently only Bayern are in the competition.
The entire Bundesliga is becoming a nonsensical feeder league to Spain & England. No wonder the league standard has fallen. Why? Simply because French, German, Dutch & Portuguese clubs are totally less successful than their English or Spanish counterparts. It's like the clubs give their players little or no reason for them to stay. It seems that Bayern & their associates have lost their bloody pride in themselves.
In Football Manager, clubs are ranked according to national, continental & world-wide. In the Bundesliga, only Bayern are ranked continental. I dare not say anything about the French or Dutch clubs.
& for the record, I'm sick & tired of English, Italian or Spanish clubs buying their way to success. Disagree if you want, but the reality is that 3/4s of most of their squad aren't even associated to England, Spain or Italy respectively. Most of them have line-ups totally based on foreigners (notably from Germany, France, Holland or Brazil)
Why on Earth is there a lack of fight amongst what I would brand them as high-profile, totally well-known but sadly feeder clubs? I shall never understand.
& though Ribery's "move" to United is probably misquoting, it raises issues of the deteriorating league standards in France, Germany & many other European countries.
It's like there's no point in even calling the Bundesliga, Ligue 1 & many others a 1st Division league.
Most Singaporeans may never understand where I coming from, due to our British history & biasness to the English Premier League. But I'm sure out there in cyberspace, there are some of you who understand my concerns & reservations.
At least I do dare to say I'm a Bayern Munich fan with utmost pride. Sadly, some players might think differently.
At least that was a nice change from my usual weeping state. God bless Friday!
Sunday, 1 March 2009
Labels: pathetically stupid until I dun even know why i wrote it
I just realised that my last post was my 222th post on this blog. & here's a little known fact, my blog title is actually the "Lament of the Highbourne." Highbourne because in Singapore, JC students are supposedly higher class (social stereotype).
222 posts about my life in Singapore. From my dumb-ass days in CBSS to the "Lament of JC", I've blogged here so much. I never really thought about the fact that people across the world can read my posts, my complaints, my insanely pathetic ramblings.
& so for my 223th post, I shall ramble about something close to my heart.
Her name was (as if I would say here)
She was a nice girl. Cheerful & absolutely annoyingly bubbly sometimes. She was nice to me, even dared to talk to me when others shunned me (by the way, screw it & did I spell shunned right?) Anyways to sum it all up, she treated me like I did exist on this blue world.
But then all she did was to follow the words of her friend & refuse to sit next to me in Maths lecture. & at first, I didn't really care. Yes I admit I passed off the remark on my MSN, but no.. I wasn't really serious about it. It was nothing more than my usual sarcastic self.
She took it seriously though. & apologised.
Then came another friend who remarked about the reason behind the dumb incident.
I simply broke.
& in my fury I hurt her. I said things that only evil people deserved to hear.
To this day I am still haunted by what she said...
"Go F888 a tree or something!"
I remembered only speaking to her...let's just say they fit into my hands.
I never forgave myself for hurting someone so innocent.
Thankfully she will never read this post because as of that horrific day, no one in my class ever came back to the Innocent Sorrows.
& when March 6 comes, I will return & once again be a misfit for 1 more time. & I shall see her once again. But I will probably say nothing at all. & hopefully I will take home a decent cert-ful of A level results.
But I remembered that I never said that I was sorry. So sorry.
Ciao to the random internet blog-hoppers who visited. Thanks for entertaining yet another addition to the Lament of the Highbourne.