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I've been putting this off for a while. And then yesterday happened.
There I was patiently listening to a friend while waiting for a cab when she reminded me of how old I am.
I'm 24 this year. Twenty fucking four. I'm almost a quarter of a century old. And what do I have to show for? Nothing. I have nothing. Heck, I AM NOTHING. No noteworthy education certs, no health, no money, no love, no family, no life. What do I have? Nothing.
Guys are suppose to have met their other halves by my age. Dated for a few years. Maybe marriage when a guy hits 30.
At this rate I'm going to be left on the shelf for good.
I have this friend who has an age-related illness. And I don't know if it's age or my poor health or malnutrition or maybe it's a combination. I don't feel good. I feel weak and empty inside. I feel like there's a disease creeping through my bones. I feel weary all the time. My legs ache. I'm exhausted all the time. This isn't healthy. This feels like death.
I don't even want to go for a checkup because I don't want to hear the doctor giving me a expiry date.
Left on the shelf.
I hope I've been good to the people I care about. Then again, I wondered if they'll remember me in the first place.
Friday, 21 February 2014
We do not fear death.
We fear not living to the fullest before death.