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Labels: f......, huh??, it's the end.
Worries. & nothing else.
1) Exams this Friday. I am completely not confident of scoring As for my Mathematics & Java. Social Media Marketing is worse. Cannot understand the notes at all. In truth, I'm screwed. From a GPA of 4.0, I might drop all the way to a 3.0. How to get scholarship like that?
2) Support. I can no longer connect with my family an ymore. My sisters are both living their own lives. Dad's all crap now. & Mum..... screw itlah. When I need someone to hold my hand & give me strength to tide through this problematic times, I have no one.
3)Them. I put myself out there all the time. Being the pillar of strength for those around me. When they're scared or hurt, I would shoulder their burden & take away their pain. I even went back to Yew Tee just to pick up my dearest kid simply because she was crying (or so I thought). I did it because it was the right thing to do. That's a mark of being a responsible adult. I do so much & what do I get in return?
Nothing. If I screw up, I get sarcasm & nonsense. When I deliver, I get silence. Where's my fucking credit? I wrote a 3k word report, did my own analysis, pleaded with my friends to help with the technical aspects & when I wanted to show you lot my work, you didn't care? It's your God-damn GROUP REPORT!!! & what you gave me, all Wikipedia nonsense. Useless.
People assume that I'll help. That I'll cover up for other people's mistakes. That's just simply because I cannot afford to fail. I suffered & wasted 2 years of my life. I was a step away from damning myself to hell because of suicide. But I found the will to live on & persevere. That willpower is dying fast....
4) $. I have none. My fees are due & apparently I owe the school $1k+. No idea where that came from nor how I'll pay that. My 2nd sister is tied up with her kids, so that's a no. My dad..no. My 1st sis is having problems of her own so no. My mum..."Don't ask me, ask your sisterlah"...enough said.
I hate the fact I have to control my food intake, not because I'm on a diet but because I can't overspend. & my gingivitis-ridden teeth are costing me big time.
Nothing but worries. Hope has diminished. There is no escape from the emptiness of the void. I'm doomed really.
Here I thought, I could find happiness in poly.
I was so wrong.
Ciaos random passerby.
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
Labels: huh??, just a thought, Me
Grom in Death of Hellscream
Yeah these few days I've been rather angry really.Due to nonsensical essays to write, people ignoring me, the weather & basically my inability of achieving anything, yes I am pissed.
EssaysWhy on earth do I, a Digital Media student, need to write a marketing essay? & reflections about a class trip? Do I look like a secondary school kid? True my classmates have only JUST graduated from secondary school but come on???
PeoplePeople have been generally ignoring me. I hate it. End of story.
& I find some people who can't even bother to stay awake in SMM class fucking irritating. How Fucking rude are you. Think what you a King is it? Joey would agree with me totally.
WeatherSingapore is like a freaking oven these past few days...which is just plain irritating.
AchievementI had expected to have grasp the basic concepts of Java, Social Media Marketing, Information Technology & Maths. I have yet to properly understand the loop segments of Java, which caused me to do a mini explosion in class. Social Media Marketing is just ( ) to me. IT? With a teacher which doesn't explain what of earth are the technologies there? Who merely tells me MS-DOS etc.. & expects me to understand? & the only reason why I am a pro at Maths is because I already studied the topics.
Enough talk. Let this be finished!
Auf Wiedersehen....
Saturday, 14 August 2010
Labels: huh??
Apparently dreams can be vividly frightening. Imagine this....
"I was at this MRT station, having just came up the stairs. I see this father & daughter go across the track (there's a platform on the other side apparently) & then the train pulls in. I use my leg to stop these 2 girls (10-11 years old I guess) & this 1 girl in pink seems to know my name. She's totally cina looking by the way. Then she just runs across the track in front of the train & to my horror the train's brakes give way. The train crushes an old man (no idea what the hell he's doing there) The train continues on & flings inself out of the station & onto the road below (did I mention, the station I was at was the dead end???) The thing that creeped me out was seeing the girl in pink sandwiched at her legs between the train & some slabs of concrete flying out of the station. & the last thing I remember was running down the stairs, tapping out of the station & running towards the scene. "
I must be losing it I guess.
Dreams are frightening really.
& the girl in pink's name, Mika????
CIAOS ppl. Sheer wierdness man!
Friday, 30 October 2009
So there's a 4th university coming up. 1st intake's in 2011....
Ironically 2011 is an important year for me...
1) There's that uni...might consider it since it's a design & creative orientated university
That's if NTU's ADM doesn't work out right...
2) O.R.D. yo!!!
I need not explain
3) I'm gonna be a 21 year old
OMG I'm old!!! sians...
4) Will go for lasik...
need to save my eyesight!!!
So today I'm gonna talk about change...so out-of-the-blue right?
Why...
Because people change. They don't hold onto their past anymore. In a few weeks time, poor little Jacky's off to the Army. Soon next year, there's not gonna be Monday Soccer anymore since most of the guys (actually all) are in camp.
That's gonna be a sad day.
Are we going to remember those good times together? Nope... I can hardly recalled the 1st time I joined the soccer group. Neither can I remember the times of Fat Ron's crazy goalkeeping (actually there's some form of recollections HAHA)
The point is...people move on.
That's why people change.
Sometimes people change for the better, like Justin...he's got an outlet to vent his fustrations through goalkeeping instead of being a paedophilic guy.
Others change for the worst, like me...vulgar, brash & plain rude during 7-9pm.
Wonder why I'm typing all this really...
Feels like nonsense now that it's all out here.
It's not really making any sense.
Like random words stringed into sentences...
Can't believe approximately 3 billion internet users are going to read this trash.
Guess I can't be bothered really....looking forward to the greatness of 2011...
Including...
yes...2011 Asian Cup
Thursday, 19 February 2009
I'd just wanted to say something about Monday Soccer. It's bloody crazy.
I wonder why on Earth did we play even though the lights were dead (considering complaining to PUB about it!!!) until 9:10-9:15???
Coz we love soccer a way too much.
& so Bayern finally say deal's done with Ukranian defensive player Anatoily Tymoschuk from Zenit Petersburg. Wonder how much was spent on him? Considering Bayern signed Ivan Olic on a free transfer.
Hopefully this will show to European clubs out there that the Bundesliga does buy players, not just sell.
Irritated by the fact there's no news on the beloved A Lvl results.
& for my ADM portfolio, I'm gonna do a photo gallery on football, literally. =)
CIAO..& Hopefully SAFFC can become the 1st S-League team to play in the AFC Champions League.
Friday, 17 October 2008
Labels: huh??
Taking time off to blog now...
Worked like mad to improve my Economics essays. The teacher seems optimistic about my chances. Chemistry is okay. Clarifications did help.
Gonna work on Math on Monday after Econs @ 7am (that's right smack in the morning)
Maybe seeing teachers on Wednesday as a preventive measure.
& I AM SO GOING FOR GEOGRAPHY MAN!!!
Playing Football manager 2008. Must say it's fun having US$1.04B in transfer budget after cheating (Arsenal is broke, Chelsea & Man Utd aren't financially stable while Barca & R. Madrid are only just secure) Plus with an all-star lineup. I mean my starting 23 man squad are all internationals. Good yes but after WCQs etc, kinda hard to get a good result. NVM
Figure this out, "melody of innocence"
Tag me if you got an answer...
Ciao people.